Can I use second person "you" in a college personal statement?

Question

I am writing my personal statement for college and the prompt is: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. In my personal statement I am giving the reader a tour of my room. For example "As you look to your left, you will see my over-stacked bookshelf." Would this be an exception for using second person? Because I want to direct the reader into visualizing my room as if they were actually there and I was giving them a tour. Would using second person hurt my score on my personal statement?

Ava Anderson · Accepted Answer

I think your approach is creative, I'd say go for it!

I'm writing from experience here because I worked for my university's admissions office as an undergraduate (PLNU, specifically). The "snapshot" of your life is what the admissions council is looking for; in other words, they're asking, "Who are you? Tell us a little bit about yourself?" Universities receive thousands of applications, and many (probably 60%) of them begin the same way in their personal statements. "I want to go to school X because I think school X could challenge me, they are top-notch in research, academics, and student life." If they didn't think so, the admissions committee most likely wouldn't be considering them for admission to that university. Universities truly want individuals who can think independently and who are self-assured in their conclusions; in other words, deviation demonstrates initiative and problem-solving skills. I actually address the graduate commission as "you" on multiple occasions (I feel its worth mentioning that the school within this university is ranked 12th in the US and the program is the only one of its kind). I guess we're in the same boat because I'm actually applying to graduate school now (for the school I'm applying to [I'm only applying to one and I'm not going to implicate them] they say you have 1,500 words write something). Oh, and the admission council does not "grade" or "score" your personal statements—rather, they just read them (a five-minute read-through is even over-glorifying it; they may spend about 60-90 seconds on it). That being said, you should still put a lot of effort and sweat into it, as admissions counselors—who have read thousands of application essays—are trained psychologists, literary critics, and professional speed readers—and can tell a lousy essay from a distance. I hope this gives you some relief, as I know how stressful it can be.

Leonardo Ayala · Answer

undefined Yes, you can use the second person "you" in a college personal statement if it fits the context and style of your writing. However, it's essential to use it judiciously and appropriately. Using "you" can create a more direct and engaging tone, allowing you to address the reader (in this case, the admissions committee) directly. Just ensure that your use of "you" aligns with the overall tone and objectives of your personal statement.